In our society, your looks are everything or at least all the big, name brand clothing companies want everyone to think this. For 30+ years, I have bought into this notion that being skinny means your beautiful. After the health problems I have dealt with and weight I have gained this year, I have come to realize that being skinny doesn't make you beautiful but being healthy and loving your body the way it is does make you the most beautiful person in the world!
Since I was a child, all I ever heard from coaches and dance teachers was about watching your weight. In high school, I became so obsessed with my weight that I became anorexic. I would not eat for days and exercise ten times harder just to stay skinny so that I would be "fit" for cheerleading and attract all the "hot" guys. As an adult, I maintained a size 1/2 even after being pregnant. That was until this past year when my body decided that it was tired of my diet of energy drinks and crap foods. My body might have looked healthy to someone but it no longer felt healthy. Between the gallstones and IBS, my body decided it was taking control back from my unworthy hands.
It has been a long struggle this year within myself about how I have gained weight to the point that I need all new clothes, not wanting to look at myself in the mirror and sending myself into a depression over this. After some soul searching, I realize it is not about how I look to myself or anyone else but how I FEEL about myself. As long as I am healthy and happy that is all that matters! I hope this inspires anyone else struggling with weight issues because you are beautiful!
What a great post! The older we get, the more we learn about our bodies. I couldn't agree with your more about being healthy over being skinny!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've come a long way toward self-acceptance! Keep it up!
ReplyDelete