Lip Scrub Made in your Kitchen

This lip scrub is super easy to make from the products in your very own kitchen! All you need is a teaspoon or less of brown sugar (makes for a better exfoliant then white sugar), olive oil and honey. Locally harvested honey is the best for you to aid in fighting off allergies!

Keep your lips smooth and beautiful this fall and winter season by taking 3 minutes to scrub your lips! 

I'm not allowed to miss you

It's Friday night, I'm sitting here listening to classical music in an attempt to keep calm and reading a positive thinking book so that I don't dwell on the negative in my life. All of a sudden, the flood gates open and every tear that I have held back the past month appears as a long stream on salty, cold tears down my cheeks. Why today? It has been one month since you said your last words to me....

A breakup is hard but a breakup with someone the second time around and on your birthday is even harder... Or it has been for me. We have all been through a breakup or two or more and felt the pain and then just moved on as life moves on. This breakup hasn't been like the rest, I didn't go begging for reasons or another chance (don't tell me you haven't done this at least once!). Yes the desperate girl act in hopes that you won't lose him and everything will turn out perfect until they don't.... I have been in that cycle in the past but this time is so different.

I chalked up my calmness (there were moments of weakness and a few tears shed) to growing and evolving as a person.... Until tonight. Once I realized the date and the significance that marked one month since that dreadful night, I could no longer hold back the pain and tears. I cried for over an hour and just didn't know how to stop them. I know what I lost that night and I'm not saying I was at total fault for the push that shoved our relationship over the edge but I would never want to lose him from my life forever. 

Now I have no other choice but to be happy for him and whatever might be going on in his life because  tears and anger will never patch the gaping hole in my heart for losing not just the love I had but a friend that I will cherish forever. 

PS. Growing up sucks as much as being the bigger person! 

Never Regret Your Past

Everyone grows from the situations they have experienced in life and I am no different from the rest. To say life has been a struggle is putting it mildly, to say the least. A single mom with health issues is a struggle all on its own then add other people into the mix and life becomes complicated, messy and drama filled (not all my own but I have been a contributing factor in some of the drama). 

I have lived with anger, guilt and regret (nearly daily) for over 20 years now. I am not putting my age out there but let's just say the anger started as a child.... (You can guess my age now). How could I not be angry? The girls who were Daddy's Little Girl would make me green with envy because my own father had nothing to do with me. As I have grown and experienced one to many failed relationships and a failed marriage, I have learned that my anger towards my father has sculpted my actions in my relationships (romantic or otherwise but mainly romantic). In each relationship, I waited for them to leave me like my father did and one by one they did. Some were nicer about leaving then others but each have taught me a lesson or two about what I want (or don't want) in a relationship.

Lessons help us grow as a person and as a soul. The anger I have lived with for so many years would creep up with each man and eventually they would leave and I was left angrier then I was before them. Was it their fault? I'm not saying I dated the best men.....they each had/have their own issues to deal with but why be angry with them when they see what I needed at the time. I had a need for them to treat me like they did to fulfill my own anger filled self-prophecy.... I am not worthy of Love. 

It's not their fault I felt like this but it's my fault for letting it happen. With the anger I felt from my father, as a child, as an adult I projected it onto people that were incapable of loving me. I will always be grateful for the good times and memories I had with them but I finally got to a point where I can let go of the anger I feel towards them. As for my father and myself.... That's a work in progress so stay tuned!