Leave the past in the past

So I decided to make Monday blogs.... My Love Life Monday or lack of love life! If you have read any of my past blog posts, you will know that my love life has been an up and down roller coaster. In my time of opening my heart to others, I have fallen in love, had my heart broken, married, divorced and dated myself. Love is not easy but it can be fun.... Or so I am told!

If I truly want to admit to myself about whom I have loved, it really has only been one. There are times where I mistaken feelings of lust for love but hind sight being 20/20, I now can see that those feelings were never actually love. Some of those feelings were my own desperation to want to love and be loved which ended in disaster. Never, ever push love because neither of you will ever be happy. 

So my post today is about leaving the past in the past... Meaning your ex or my exes at least. Almost 4 years ago, I met and fell in love with the man who still has my heart. Let's call him "Adam" since he looks like my #1 celeb crush Sdam Levine.  It ended badly the first time and it took me 3 years to date anyone seriously again. Don't get me wrong, I went on dates or would have "fun" with a guy (a girl has needs too) but I couldn't get past a few dates because I would find flaws in them. 

Then last January I met someone (let's call him Brown) I thought I could get serious despite the flaws that jumped at me, shouted at me and basically slapped me in the face. We dated and ended then he tried to apologize and try again. I thought about until I heard from Adam.... I was back in that whirlwind of love and with every call, every moment we spent together my heart fell harder and deeper. Until my birthday when it all ended and I have been broken hearted since that day.

During my 2 attempt with Adam, Brown tried to get back with me but nothing and no one could tear me from the love I felt in those months. After the breakup with Adam, Brown has come in and out of my life but has a hard time staying consistent. That is fatal flaw to me... If you can't find the time to take a couple of seconds to just text me then why should I put the effort out to create a life with you. 

After the heartbreak of Adam and the inconsistency of Brown, I have learned to keep the past in the past because when there are flaws it's rare someone will change to fix those flaws. Be happy for yourself not to be with someone. 

How Slow is a Slow Start?

As a Leo woman, I am used to falling for someone to hard and to fast, so dating a Taurus that likes to take things slow is out of my comfort zone. I am not the only Leo woman who is in love with love and the feeling of love more then the person they should love. Jennifer Lopez is the queen of Leo women who love felling love. She has gone through many marriages, engagements and relationships just to feel that amazing feeling of a man adoring you. For my whole dating life, I have been the same way.... Until now!

I have been dating "teacher" for over a month now and have been on dinner dates and sleepover dates but there is no rushing to feel to much because I can't read how he feels.... EVER! Being a Taurus (which is a first time for me), he likes to take thing slow and anazlyze everything. I'm used to the abundance of compliments, texts and feeling like I might be the one. The Teacher has me wondering if he going to answer my text, am I the only one he is dating or at least sleeping with or when will I see him again. Between his busy schedule and mine, our time together has been once every week or sometimes every 2 weeks. 

There is no denying that I crave more of his time and attention and the slow pace does frustrate me at times. There are moments where I feel like this is the right pace for us because I appreciate the time we do have together like when he fell asleep in my arms while watching a girlie movie. All I hope is that I can deal with the slow pace and keep my lioness calm for a while..... Happy Dating!