Celebrate Being Single

Valentines Day is all about love and couples so for the single ladies, we can feel very left out. Now it's not that I didn't want a Valentine or a boyfriend but this year I chose to love myself more then be miserable with the wrong person. 

Good ole Facebook reminded me of my poor love choices and the love I lost (aka the bad boy) with the new memories feature which stung for a minute. At least I was strong enough to keep the tears at bay while I scrolled through the good and bad memories like the year I was broken up with on Valentines Day. I'm not sure which is worse being broken up with on Valentine's Day, the day of love or My Birthday, the day to celebrate my life. 

My daughter and mother gave me Valentines candy but it's not enough to wallow in my sorrows of being single on the day of love as I watch everyone else get married or engaged on Valentines Day. Thanks again Facebook! So today I am making an investment into my own happiness and buying the leftover, discounted Valetines candy! Let's celebrate being single by eating chocolate and being merry! 

Leave the past in the past

So I decided to make Monday blogs.... My Love Life Monday or lack of love life! If you have read any of my past blog posts, you will know that my love life has been an up and down roller coaster. In my time of opening my heart to others, I have fallen in love, had my heart broken, married, divorced and dated myself. Love is not easy but it can be fun.... Or so I am told!

If I truly want to admit to myself about whom I have loved, it really has only been one. There are times where I mistaken feelings of lust for love but hind sight being 20/20, I now can see that those feelings were never actually love. Some of those feelings were my own desperation to want to love and be loved which ended in disaster. Never, ever push love because neither of you will ever be happy. 

So my post today is about leaving the past in the past... Meaning your ex or my exes at least. Almost 4 years ago, I met and fell in love with the man who still has my heart. Let's call him "Adam" since he looks like my #1 celeb crush Sdam Levine.  It ended badly the first time and it took me 3 years to date anyone seriously again. Don't get me wrong, I went on dates or would have "fun" with a guy (a girl has needs too) but I couldn't get past a few dates because I would find flaws in them. 

Then last January I met someone (let's call him Brown) I thought I could get serious despite the flaws that jumped at me, shouted at me and basically slapped me in the face. We dated and ended then he tried to apologize and try again. I thought about until I heard from Adam.... I was back in that whirlwind of love and with every call, every moment we spent together my heart fell harder and deeper. Until my birthday when it all ended and I have been broken hearted since that day.

During my 2 attempt with Adam, Brown tried to get back with me but nothing and no one could tear me from the love I felt in those months. After the breakup with Adam, Brown has come in and out of my life but has a hard time staying consistent. That is fatal flaw to me... If you can't find the time to take a couple of seconds to just text me then why should I put the effort out to create a life with you. 

After the heartbreak of Adam and the inconsistency of Brown, I have learned to keep the past in the past because when there are flaws it's rare someone will change to fix those flaws. Be happy for yourself not to be with someone. 

Single for the Rest Of My Life

Sometimes, I sit here and wonder if I am going to be single for the rest of my life. Have I become to comfortable with being alone that adding a significant other just won't fit into my lifestyle?

Trying the online dating thing was fun at first but lately it has become annoying each time I hear the ring go off on my phone. The guys are just not the right type for me. This has made me realize what I do want in a boyfriend which is a blessing because 10 years ago I would have dated all these guys. I want someone that fits me but it feels like that guy is out there. Maybe my timing just isn't right yet or I just love not answering to someone else. Until the right guy shows up, I am happy to say that I love being single and doing my own thing. Every woman needs that period in their life!