Walking into a Wall

"I love it when I go to the doctor's office and they tell me how I need to lower my stress level.... I am a single mom so there is no lowering my stress level right now." 

This has been the mind set I have had since my daughter was a baby and I went to the doctor for anxiety and depression. Here I was raising this baby who from the time she was born was awake every 2-3 hours until she was about 4 years old. As a toddler, all she wanted was Mommy to comfort her like when she was a baby and even going on 9 she does this on occasion still. 

I thought that as she would get older things aka life would get easier but it hasn't at all. If anything things became more stressful because instead of paying for diapers and formula now I was paying for dance lessons, recital fees, new dance shoes, clothes that got more expensive and the toys and gadgets that she wants. At 8 years old, I try to teach her the value of the dollar and how money doesn't grow on trees but then she sees her friends get all the things that she doesn't and feel left out which makes me feel like an epic fail of a mother. What parent doesn't want to give their child everything they desire and the memories that they will tell their grandchildren??

This is where I feel like I am walking into a wall because as much as I try to increase my income, it doesn't seem to be enough. I am a creative person at hear and a sales person by nature. I love to create and sell my products along with my other 2 sales business' but the only way I know how to expand requires the one thing I don't have.... a new, reliable car!

Before you go on to give me suggestions... my credit is in the dumps so no leasing a car, no I will not allow someone to co-sign for me and feel burdened to someone else, getting a "job" is outta the question due to not having transportation to get to said "job" and no I don't live in area that provides public transportation (you look out my window and all you see is trees and farmland). 

So there is my wall.... I feel like I cannot further my life the way it is but see no way of getting ahead. On a bright note..... I am grateful for the income that I do have, my loving, loyal customers and the business' that keep me afloat everyday. 

When Lightening Strikes

Have you ever had lightening strike your house or close to it? It is one scary feeling! Last Thursday evening we had a tornado watch, severe thunderstorm watch and flood watch. Well the rain storms came fast and furious which we have gotten used to since the humidity is so high right now. Then all of a sudden there were a blue flash and a boom that shook the house and was felt through my body. Lily jumped out of her chair as the smoke alarms were screaming and we were trying to figure out what had gotten hit. Once the rain slowed down, everyone in the neighborhood walked around looking for where the lightening struck.... the huge Oak tree in our front yard!!! It struck about half way down the tree and is a scary site! Well things got crazier and crazier in my life since that lightening struck the tree and was felt through my body. Things went from good to bad and bad to good. Unexpected things happened in my life. Overall, that thunderstorm has taught me to dance in the rain rather then waiting for the storm to pass because you never know what moment can be your last!

Piece of the bark found across the yard!

The Struggle

As you can see I haven't blogged in days mainly because I have had some struggles going on in my life. Some of them family issues but most of them financial. I am having the hardest time keeping my daughter and I afloat which is a hard struggle for most single moms. I try my hardest to do the best that I can but sometimes it can feel like the best isn't enough. With bills piling up and my income being very little the past few months, I had to make the choice to pay some bills and not others. I have only been selling online for a short while with only a few sales, so one bill that I couldn't afford was my Etsy bill. I had listed over 250 items in my shop with only 4 sales which wasn't enough to pay the bill. I had just enough to pay my Handmade Artist monthly fee so that shop will stay open for the month of July. Please feel to stop by my shop on Handmade Artist: https://handmadeartists.com/shop/redshoeaffair

Thank you for all your support on my journey.