Showing posts with label single life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single life. Show all posts

Monday, August 22, 2016

Goals aka Becoming an Adult

Everyone makes a joke out "adulting" but I have to say the past couple of weeks this "adulting" or becoming an adult thing has really hit home for me. For the past 10 years I have lived on and off with my parents which any adult, especially with children, is hard as hell because you automatically become a child again. This past year has been a struggle because I became a recluse where I didn't want to go outside of the house for anything. Both depression and anxiety set it in horrible, horrible ways and I just started coming out of it which means I want to become an adult again!

How the hell do I become an adult after all of this closure within my own life and mind? I have let many of my friends fall out of my life. No relationship so no man to share my life with. No goals to live out my life except to get through the current day long enough to go to sleep again. People don't understand what life is like when you suffer from depression or anxiety and forget it when you suffer from both. The anxiety makes you fear everything which then spirals into depression and which then makes you never want to leave the spot you are currently sitting in. This was an ongoing cycle that I couldn't break but I finally took a stand for myself and things have started to change.... I am on my way to becoming an Adult (again!).

So this goals thing that is in my title.... One way that I was able to get my arse off the couch and make my way to becoming an adult was to set myself goals. I have run 2 successful business through this depression and anxiety but I will not lie they suffered big time which means I suffered financial set backs. So first thing was first.... find a job! Found a job waitressing which I have done in the past and loved but worried my neck problems would effect my ability to work. Yes I do have some major pain after my shifts but I love it. Finding this job has helped me recoup my money loss and find my self confidence again. I found out that some of my co-workers suffer from the same anxiety issues that I do which makes me feel not so alone anymore.

Next goal is finding a place to live.... this is in the works but I will keep you all updated on this long, long search
Goal after that one.... buy a new car!
Goal after that.... take a vacation!
Goal to happen at anytime.... find love again!

Becoming an adult isn't easy but it is time for me to grow up and stand up to my depression and anxiety before it eats me alive. If you suffer from one or both of these things just remember you are not alone!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

To Love or Stay Single?


When I go to activities for my daughter or church, people hear I am single and feel pity for me. It is always "the right one will come" or "that is ashame because a man could really help you out". I don't see the pity in being single. Actually, I have enjoyed living a pretty drama free life for the past year (kinda sorta a year). My life of dating has been horrible since my divorce 9 years ago. I have found deadbeats that don't want to work, guys still in love with their exes, guys with psycho exes (the kinda sorta last guy I dated) and my favorite of all... addicts that can't remember what the truth really is (my main attraction). So living a single life has worked for me this past year and has given me time to find out who I am without a guy (I have been dating since I was 13) and find out what I want in a relationship. 

As I see my friends all going off getting married and having their first babies (yes, I did this much younger then them), I am getting that slight pang of wonder... am I missing something? Don't get me wrong, I would love to find "the right guy" but part of me doesn't want to go through the drama of the wrong guys along the way. So last night, I decided it is time to at least start dating. Nothing serious just a few fun dates to get to know someone better and give me a chance to see how the new me is around guys. Since most of my friends and their friends are all married, I decided to try online dating. One site that was recommended to me that was free (yes, I don't want to pay to talk to someone) was Plenty of Fish. Within an hour, I had tons of views, messages and want to meet alerts. I talked to a few guys but I am going to take this sllllooooowwwww! Get ready for the bumpy ride of single mom dating!