They say misery loves company which I am living with on a daily basis right now. For as long as I could remember my mother has always been miserable, always complaining and finding the negative in everything just to scream and holler about. There was time in my life, before I had Lily, that I cut my mother out of my life for 2 years. I went through stressful situations including having Lily and becoming a single mom all without her. Lily was about a year old when I came back home because I needed help as a single mom and I believed she had changed. That the 2 years of silence had taught her to appreciate her children not take them for granted. Well that lasted until my little brother, who was the favorite, unexpectedly died at a young age of 23. When he died she got worse, she tried to control each of our moves and actions because then she could make the "right" decision for us since she couldn't save my brother from his bad decisions.
The years of living with her wore me thin until I finally broke 2 years ago. I couldn't take things anymore so I got help in finding an apartment which I struggled with paying rent and eventually got evicted. I moved in with a friend until he ended up in the same situation and I ended up making the worse decision ever....I moved back home.
I have been back for about a month and each day I wake up more miserable then I did the. Isn't before which I didn't think was possible. Usually, I read positivity books, say affrimations and mediate. Since I have been back here, I have not read or mediate and my positive affrimations have been few and far between because I have started to believe I am this horrible person that doesn't derpserve anything good or to be happy.
Tonight I am making the decision to not give into her misery and negative attitude. I am working hard on my life and keeping happy. Yes money is stressful for s single mom but I have learned to start selling things I don't need in my life on facebook yard sale pages and networking other ways to sell my products. I am as strong as I feel and today I am strong enough to cut the negative people out of my life even if that includes family!
