Kissing Some Toads

                      

 A few days ago, I was having a conversation with someone that I have somewhat dated on and off for the past 4 years about why I am always dating others guys. The simplest way I could put it was I need to kiss a lot of toads to find my prince. That's right now frogs but ugly, warty toads because after we breakup that's what my exes look like to me from the way they treated me. I mean seriously, what break up is a clean, non emotional breakup?? If you say you have had one then you are lying to me and more importantly yourself!

In any breakup, someone gets hurts, feels bitter and wants to seek revenge. Ok, ok that last part might just be me but like the saying goes "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"! 

Back to the original conversation, "Larry" and I have been on and off dating for 4 years because he has commitment issues (sorry if you read this but unfortunately the truth hurts). As I have been off dating, fell in love with someone, had my heart broken, dated more toads, fell in love with same person again (subject of another blog) and was broken up with on my Birthday a few weeks ago (did you keep up with all of that??), Larry felt like we have been kinda dating this whole time!!

This dating, as he sees it, consisted of occasional texts or phone calls usually around holidays or birthdays (when single people feel the loneliness) and attempting to have 4 dates a year. This dating, to me, is more of a friends with benefits (yes we would have sex on occasion and yes it was good) relationship. The benefits, whether it be sex or snuggling or just a friend to talk to, are something I see as a friend relationship.

As our conversation ended, I said I want a future with someone to share the little things in life with and talk about my day with which at 34 years old is not out of the ordinary for person (male or female) to desire.if that means I need to kiss (not have sex with) a thousand toads to find my prince then that is what I will do for my forever love. He never responded to what I said but it shows the difference in what people will settle for in their lives. I know what I want and I will never settle for less then that for anyone and neither should you! 

How Slow is a Slow Start?

As a Leo woman, I am used to falling for someone to hard and to fast, so dating a Taurus that likes to take things slow is out of my comfort zone. I am not the only Leo woman who is in love with love and the feeling of love more then the person they should love. Jennifer Lopez is the queen of Leo women who love felling love. She has gone through many marriages, engagements and relationships just to feel that amazing feeling of a man adoring you. For my whole dating life, I have been the same way.... Until now!

I have been dating "teacher" for over a month now and have been on dinner dates and sleepover dates but there is no rushing to feel to much because I can't read how he feels.... EVER! Being a Taurus (which is a first time for me), he likes to take thing slow and anazlyze everything. I'm used to the abundance of compliments, texts and feeling like I might be the one. The Teacher has me wondering if he going to answer my text, am I the only one he is dating or at least sleeping with or when will I see him again. Between his busy schedule and mine, our time together has been once every week or sometimes every 2 weeks. 

There is no denying that I crave more of his time and attention and the slow pace does frustrate me at times. There are moments where I feel like this is the right pace for us because I appreciate the time we do have together like when he fell asleep in my arms while watching a girlie movie. All I hope is that I can deal with the slow pace and keep my lioness calm for a while..... Happy Dating!

First Date Anxiety

This week of online dating/talking has been an adventure... to say the least! I have been contacted by over 50 guys, most not in my profile description, but talked to about 20. I am not sure what the point of the profile is because it seems like the guys don't read it at all. The ones that I would have no interest in dating were quite persistent but I just ignored them because it would go no where. I gave my number to text to a few of the guys and set up a couple of dates. 

Over the weekend, one of the guys came to visit my booth and meet me at my show, which was terrifying for me. I haven't had to do a blind date thing for years so to meet someone while I am working is a bit more awkward. "Tree guy" came down as I was packing up on Saturday so we talked for a few minutes then he came back the next day for an hour or so. I felt a bit like a fool because I was dressed up in a Victorian outfit with NO MAKEUP!  Everyone around thought he was cute and kind. I enjoyed talking to him until I found out that another guy I was talking to decided to come down and meet me... at the same time "tree guy" was there. Only I would end up in that situation! 

Well, I saw the guy walk by but he didn't recognize me because I was dressed up and didn't look like "me". Now I know why people say blind dating is so terrifying because this guy didn't look like his pictures. He looked much older then 40 and heavier then the slimmer pictures on his profile. So, I avoided his texts and he didn't meet me. I felt so guilty but I didn't want to make the situation anymore awkward or lead him on to thinking that the meeting would lead to a date. Yes, mean of me but I am better at avoiding then confronting uncomfortable situations.  Plus, Tree Guy and I had a good laugh over it. 

Overall, I am finding online dating terrifying but a little fun. It is nice to have some adult interaction and hoping my first dates will be fun. Now, on Tuesdays you will get to find out about my world of single mom dating..... 

To Love or Stay Single?

When I go to activities for my daughter or church, people hear I am single and feel pity for me. It is always "the right one will come" or "that is ashame because a man could really help you out". I don't see the pity in being single. Actually, I have enjoyed living a pretty drama free life for the past year (kinda sorta a year). My life of dating has been horrible since my divorce 9 years ago. I have found deadbeats that don't want to work, guys still in love with their exes, guys with psycho exes (the kinda sorta last guy I dated) and my favorite of all... addicts that can't remember what the truth really is (my main attraction). So living a single life has worked for me this past year and has given me time to find out who I am without a guy (I have been dating since I was 13) and find out what I want in a relationship. 

As I see my friends all going off getting married and having their first babies (yes, I did this much younger then them), I am getting that slight pang of wonder... am I missing something? Don't get me wrong, I would love to find "the right guy" but part of me doesn't want to go through the drama of the wrong guys along the way. So last night, I decided it is time to at least start dating. Nothing serious just a few fun dates to get to know someone better and give me a chance to see how the new me is around guys. Since most of my friends and their friends are all married, I decided to try online dating. One site that was recommended to me that was free (yes, I don't want to pay to talk to someone) was Plenty of Fish. Within an hour, I had tons of views, messages and want to meet alerts. I talked to a few guys but I am going to take this sllllooooowwwww! Get ready for the bumpy ride of single mom dating!